Hello, dear friend,
I hope you are doing well.
Are you already managing your summer plans? With schools out soon, this is the season for coordinating childcare, annual leave, summer enrichment activities, or simply finding time for rest.
I plan to enjoy this summer fully, and I am currently preparing for something I have never done before that I wanted to share with you.
When you think of “play,” what does it mean to you? For me, it conjures images of playgrounds, sandcastles, and dancing in the rain. Play is a complete flow state for me now, but it hasn’t always been that way; I had to learn how to play again.
Growing up, I naturally gravitated toward leadership roles, which often meant sacrificing my playfulness. It was only when I began to examine my core beliefs that I realized play is essential to wellness and creativity.
I once read that life should include a few “unnecessary” things that serve no purpose other than to make you happy. Play is exactly that—whether it is play with oneself or with others.
I actually had to teach myself how to get down on the floor and play with my kids. Like any new skill, it felt awkward at first, but soon I became someone who genuinely enjoyed being around children and engaging with them on their level. I activated my “lost child” senses, and it has been such a joy.
Thinking about play makes me truly happy. What about you? How do you incorporate play into your life?
Do you find yourself thinking:
“I’ll enjoy myself after I achieve this goal.”
“I’ll make time for fun later.”
How many times have you spoken those exact words to yourself? It’s an easy trap to fall into. But the truth we often try to ignore is that there will always be another task. Another responsibility. Another looming milestone.
If joy is always postponed, life quickly becomes an endless cycle of exertion without fulfilment.
You do not have to finish every single item on your list before allowing yourself to smile. You do not need written permission from “productivity” before you are allowed to experience happiness.
The Evolutionary Roots of Play
Our modern obsession with non-stop productivity actually goes against our very design. Anthropological research shows that play isn’t a reward card we earn only after hard labour—it is a foundational human survival strategy.
Anthropologist Dr Peter Grey, an expert on the evolution of play, notes that in many hunter-gatherer societies—the social structures that defined 99% of human history—work and play were not separate.
Play was the primary mechanism for learning, maintaining social equality, and reducing group stress.
Furthermore, evolutionary anthropologists argue that humans retain juvenile traits—including curiosity, playfulness, and a capacity for wonder—well into adulthood to keep our brains adaptable.
This is the basis for all sorts of educational models, including the Montessori and Waldorf Steiner styles of education.
Play is an investment in brain development.
When you deny yourself play, you aren’t just being “disciplined.” You are denying a core biological need.
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A Moment for Reflection:
Close your eyes for a moment and think back to your childhood. What was something you used to do for hours, purely for the joy of it, without caring about the “outcome” or whether you were good at it? How did that freedom feel in your body?
Permitting Yourself to Play Again
Unlearning the pressure to always be “useful” takes time, and it requires gentle self-compassion. Perhaps the most important step you can take today is simple: permit yourself. Like me 6 years ago, it will be awkward, even embarrassing, but we will do it anyway.
Permit yourself to do the silly thing.
- Permission to laugh without checking the clock.
- Permission to explore a hobby purely, just for the novelty of it.
- Permission to dance in your living room to a song you love.
- Permission to sit with the people you love without feeling like you should be doing something else.
- Permission to do something that serves absolutely no purpose other than making your heart light.
You are not a machine designed only to produce metrics and results. You are a human being. And human beings need wonder. We need creativity. We need a deep connection. We need to play.
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A Moment for Reflection:
Look at your calendar for the upcoming week. Where can you carve out just 30 minutes of “unstructured time”? Write it down not as a task to complete, but as an open space to follow whatever makes you happy in that exact moment. What boundaries do you need to set to protect that space?
I remember many years ago, Pastor Poju Oyemade teaching about giving yourself white space to just ideate.
Give it to yourself as a gift this week.
Final thoughts
Success is important. Responsibility matters deeply, and taking care of our lives is a form of self-respect. But a life that contains only productivity eventually becomes exhausting and hollow. The goal is never to abandon your responsibilities; the goal is to weave joy right alongside them.
A meaningful life is not built solely from a mountain of accomplishments. It is also built from shared laughter, quiet memories, messy hobbies, deep friendships, and tiny, ordinary moments of delight.
So, if you have been feeling trapped in the cycle of constant hustle, consider this your gentle, warm reminder:
It is okay to play.
It is okay to laugh.
It is okay to enjoy your life right now, precisely as it is.
In fact, it might be exactly what your soul needs to thrive.
Until next time — stay warm, stay growing, stay loving, stay whole.
With love and light,
Amaka.
