Hello there.
I hope you are well today?
I hope you are taking care of yourself, in a way that makes you proud.
I have spent the last 12 weeks in deep introspection and I am slowly going to be sharing those thoughts with you in these letters.
I thought about writing a short one for once instead of getting stuck in the perfectionist trap.
I want us to be able to live the way we want irrespective of expectations. I am hoping to exemplify that by not letting anything stop me from doing what I need to do.
Recently I had the privilege of hearing someone’s expectations of me, and after I listened, I said “thank you for holding me so high up on a pedestal but I am human, and I decline this pedestal. I will do what I want to do, when I want to, how I want to, bear with me, I take my instructions from the spirit”.
We will talk more about expectations, perhaps in the podcast? Deal!
Speaking of anger, it is just an emotion, albeit a powerful one. Anger is usually the expression of an unmet need. It is rare to find an angry person who doesn’t have an unmet need.
Recently, I have had the opportunity to experience anger towards the leadership of my country as I watched young lives being taken in the most wanton way. I reminisced about my happy idyllic childhood and the state of the nation now, a state that has forced many out to find more fertile ground to fulfill their purpose.
The anger was real, I was up at night, thinking about what to do with it and I remembered the words of my spirit aunty Ms Audre Lorde, forever truth teller and all-round inspirational writer. She saw the future and wrote about it with a hot pen.
“Anger expressed and translated into action in the service of our vision and our future is a liberating and strengthening act of clarification, for it is in the painful process of this translation that we identify who are our allies with whom we have grave difference and who are our genuine enemies”
So, my dear, this was how I learned to reframe anger and started to harness the energy. To be honest, anger, no matter its source, is energy that can be harnessed for good.
It all comes back to choice, is your anger destructive? and if so, what does it destroy, evil or good. I like the idea of using anger to create change and meet the need I am desperately lacking.
I used to be team smash the table and scatter it all but now I know better, so I do better.
What to do when you get angry.
- Notice that you are angry first
- Identify the trigger of the anger
- Identify the deeper source/background
- See what needs you have that are currently unmet
- Do what is within your control to meet your own needs
- Take a break from the trigger environment when you do all this
Some situations will trigger you until you can’t think, but must always remember that you are the master of yourself including your emotions and actions. Never hand that power to anyone else, no matter how mad they have made you.
Quick Calming Techniques when Angry
Here are some quick calming techniques when things blow hot:
- Sit still, and stimulate your senses by focusing on your immediate environment. CLICK HERE FOR SOME HELP WITH THIS.
- Drink some cold water
- Go out for a run or walk or dance in your space
- Practice some deep breathing
- Hug a baby
Do whatever you need to do to dissipate the initial burst of energy.
The price is in converting that anger to good change. So my dear friend, get up and get converting.
Since the BLM movement started, I have taken that anger and converted it into a series of wins for myself and I am enjoying the change I see in my immediate environment.
Do it for you, because by doing it for you, you also do it for the world that is constantly evolving around you. The world needs us in our best possible form.
Do you like these posts, forward them to a friend and ask them to subscribe to get them directly to their inbox. For past posts, please check out the lower part of this blog to see other posts.
Are you ready to convert anger to change?
Have you done anything with your anger recently?
Tell me about it, hit comment on this email, and just type it up, I don’t care if you have typos. We aren’t perfect people in this family, we are improving daily.
Let’s do this work together.
I believe in your value.
