A “Good Enough” Routine

Hello dear friend,

How are you doing? I hope you are getting more clarity during the slower seasons of the year and are documenting some kind of direction for yourself.

I have found myself not really being diligent with the documenting aspect of things, but I have managed to communicate to my husband what I am thinking, and this has helped hold me accountable as we discuss the fine details of execution, and also create a pathway for remembering my goals.

I know some of you can relate, and there is a science behind it. When we share information, we consolidate information in our brains. It is why we say learn one, do one, teach one in education circles.

We all know that life doesn’t always cooperate with our beautiful plans and intentions. Sometimes the universe—or God, as I like to say—has a different schedule in mind, we don’t often just ask him before we make our plans, so we find ourselves in a quandary and then come crying back.

His redemption plan includes reconciling us back to a merciful God and his good plan for us.

Sometimes life throws us into seasons where everything feels like it’s happening at once, and we find ourselves scrambling just to keep our heads above water. Been there, done that, and I prayed never to be there again. So creating a sustainable life rhythm is such an important part of this.

I want to talk to you about something that has become a lifeline for me during these unpredictable, chaotic seasons: the “good enough” routine.

Not the perfect routine. Not the aspirational routine you see on Instagram with colour-coded schedules and matching journals. Not the routine that requires you to wake up at 5 a.m., ice bath, meditate for an hour, journal deeply, exercise, prepare a nutritious breakfast, drop kids off with a smile, and show up to work looking like you have your life completely figured out.

I’m talking about the routine that survives chaos. The routine that bends without breaking. The routine that meets you exactly where you are and doesn’t demand more than you have to give. One that flows with you and keeps flowing until you have more to give.

The Myth of the Perfect Routine

We have been sold a narrative, my friend. This narrative says that a good routine is rigid, ambitious, and visible. It says that a good routine means you never miss a day. It says that a good routine is proof that you are disciplined, motivated, and serious about your life.

We all aspire to be this person, the person we see online with the pantry to die for and the walk-in wardrobe of dreams… We unfortunately cannot simulate a well-curated advert in our own lives. It is the pressure of the generation we live in, and it’s constantly in our faces.

But here’s what I have learned through multiple seasons of trying to maintain “perfect” routines while life was falling apart: a perfect routine is just another form of perfectionism, and perfectionism is just another form of violence we commit against ourselves.

A form of psychological self-harm, a vicious cycle of setting ourselves up to fail. Then we talk ourselves down and then do it all again.

Last year, I remember having this beautiful morning routine—6 a.m. wake-up, prayer, gym, prep kids’ breakfast/lunch, work prep. I was disciplined. I was consistent. I was doing the damn thing, getting into a sweet spot and enjoying the illusion of someone who had it all together.

Then my job changed. Then my family situation shifted. Then, unexpected things started happening that required my energy and attention in ways I hadn’t planned for. And suddenly, my 6 a.m. routine became a source of shame instead of a source of peace.

I was waking up, looking at my routine, feeling the weight of it, and immediately feeling like a failure before my day even began. The alarm clock was a reminder of my failure, the gym membership card rang a bell of failure; it was a downward spiral.

That’s when I realized: a routine that makes you feel like a failure isn’t a routine worth keeping.

A “Good Enough” Routine

A “good enough” routine is flexible enough to survive change. It’s sustainable enough to continue even when life gets hard. It’s compassionate enough to meet you where you are without judgment.

A “good enough” routine isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing the right things—the things that actually matter to your wellbeing—and doing them in a way that fits your real life, not your imaginary life.

Here’s the truth that nobody talks about: during chaotic seasons, your job is not to optimize. Your job is not to grow. Your job is not to become your best self.

Your job during chaotic seasons is to survive with grace, seek the face of God, and wait with patience. Your job is to keep your nervous system regulated and show yourself mercy. Your job is to protect your mental health. Your job is to show up as present as you can, even if “present” means you’re showing up at 40% capacity instead of 100%.

Brene Brown once shared a technique she and her husband have for managing energy in their home. Checking with each other what their “battery levels” are at each time.

Battery levels reflect their capacity to give to the family, and adjustments that many need to be made to support each other.

And that is not just okay. That is wisdom.

The Three Non-Negotiables

In my own practice, I have learned that a “good enough” routine needs to have three things:

1. A Physical Anchor

This is something your body does that signals safety and grounding. For me, during chaotic seasons, this is as simple as drinking water intentionally. Not mindfully (though that’s nice when I have the energy). Just deliberately putting water in my body and acknowledging that I am keeping myself alive.

For someone else, it might be a ten-minute walk. Or stretching. Or a warm shower. Or making tea and sitting with it for five minutes. It’s not fancy. It’s not glamorous. But it’s something your nervous system recognizes as “we are taking care of ourselves right now.”

The reason why someone might choose water is that they can do it anywhere, anytime, with no preparation. When life is chaotic, and you have abandoned everything else, you can still drink a glass of water and feel like you’ve done something for yourself.

2. A Mental Rest

This is something that allows your mind to pause from the constant thinking, planning, and problem-solving. It doesn’t have to be meditation. (I know meditation can feel like another task on your to-do list, especially during chaotic seasons.)

It could be:

• Five minutes of sitting in silence
• A short walk where you deliberately don’t think about your problems
• Listening to a song you love
• Reading one page of something that isn’t work-related
• Sitting outside and noticing three things you can see, smell, and hear.

The point is that your mind needs micro-breaks throughout the day. Not because you’re lazy. Because your brain is literally designed to need these breaks. They’re not luxuries. They’re maintenance.

During a particularly chaotic season in my life, my mental rest was a 15-minute walk during lunchtime. I would just walk around the compound and get some fresh air.

Sometimes I would pray, sometimes I would talk to my friends or family, sometimes I would just breathe. But it was 15 minutes where I wasn’t required to be anyone or do anything.

3. One Connection Point

This is harder to explain, but I’ll try. A connection point is something that tethers you to what matters. It’s a conversation, a moment, a practice that reminds you that you’re not alone and that your life has meaning beyond the chaos.

For a parent, it might be bedtime with your child—even if it’s just five minutes of full presence before they sleep. For someone in a partnership, it might be one meal where you actually talk to your partner instead of eating in separate rooms.

For someone who is spiritually inclined, it might be one prayer or moment of meditation. For a friend, it might be one genuine text exchange or call.

For me, it was a daily WhatsApp call with my close friends; we would accompany each other to work and talk about everything from world peace to bowel habits. Connection.

The reason I call it a “connection point” is that during chaotic seasons, we often are inclined to withdraw from meaningful connection and self-isolate. We pull inward. We convince ourselves that we don’t have time for relationships because we’re too busy managing the chaos, or that we don’t want to stress anyone. But the opposite is true: during chaotic seasons, we need connection more, not less.

And the beautiful thing is that this doesn’t have to be elaborate. It just has to be real. It just has to be a moment where you feel seen, or where you see someone else, or where you remember that life is not just about surviving the chaos—it’s about the people and the purpose that make the chaos worth navigating.

When Your Routine Falls Apart (And It Will)

My Dear, let me be clear: during chaotic seasons, your routine will fall apart. You will wake up on a Tuesday and realize you’ve abandoned everything for two weeks. You didn’t wash the uniforms, and the dishes are piled high, bills unpaid, and the car is out of fuel. You will have a moment of panic and shame. You will tell yourself that you’ve failed.

This is normal. This is expected. This is part of the process, not a sign that you’re doing it wrong.

What I want you to do in those moments is this: pause. Don’t spiral. Don’t add shame on top of chaos. Just pause and ask yourself one simple question: “What is the one thing I need to do for myself today to feel like I’m taking care of myself?”

Just one thing. Not three. Not five. One.

Maybe it’s drinking water. Maybe it’s a ten-minute walk. Maybe it’s bathing extra 10 minutes. Maybe it’s calling a friend. Maybe it’s sitting in your car for five minutes before entering your house. Maybe it’s taking a shower without rushing. Maybe it’s reading one page of something that brings you joy.

One thing. That’s your routine for that day. And you do that one thing, and then you go to bed knowing that you showed up for yourself.

Because here’s what I know: showing up for yourself on the hard days is harder than showing up on the easy days. And the person who can show up for themselves with one small act of self-care during chaos is actually more disciplined than the person who has a perfect routine when life is easy.

The Seasons Will Change

One of the most freeing things I have learned is this: seasons change. Chaotic seasons end. The thing that feels like it will last forever never does. And on the other side of chaos, there is usually a season where you have more space, more energy, more capacity.

When that season comes—and it will come—you can rebuild your routine slowly. You can add more practices. You can expand your capacity. But for now, during this season, “good enough” is more than enough.

I had a mentor once who said something that has stayed with me: “The routine you can sustain is better than the routine you can’t.” I think about that a lot.

The routine you maintain through chaos—even if it’s just one small thing—is actually more powerful than the perfect routine you abandon the moment life gets hard. Because consistency, even small consistency, is what changes us over time.

Redefining Success

We need to redefine what success looks like during chaotic seasons. Success is not:

• Waking up early
• Having a long list of habits you complete
• Looking like you have your life together
• Never having a bad day.
• Being constantly productive

Success during chaotic seasons is:

• Showing up for yourself, even if it’s just one small thing
• Keeping your nervous system regulated enough to think clearly.
• Staying connected to what matters

• Spiritual practices
• Being honest about your capacity
• Choosing yourself when it would be easier to abandon yourself

That’s it. That’s the whole game.

Creating Your Own “Good Enough” Routine

Here’s how I invite you to approach this:

Step 1: Identify Your Reality

What season are you actually in right now? Not what season you wish you were in. Not what season you think you should be in. But the actual reality of your life right now. How much energy do you actually have? What are the non-negotiables taking up your time? What is genuinely beyond your control?

Step 2: Choose Your Three

Pick one physical anchor, one mental rest practice, and one connection point that feels doable to you. Not aspirational. Not something that will make you feel good on Instagram. But something that, on a chaotic Tuesday when everything has fallen apart, you could still do.

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Step 3: Do Just Enough

Commit to doing these three things, but permit yourself to do them in the smallest version possible. A five-minute walk counts as a walk. Three minutes of stillness count as meditation. One text to a friend counts as a connection.

Step 4: Practice Compassion

When you miss a day—and you will—don’t make it mean something about your character or discipline. Just notice it happened and gently come back to your one thing.

Step 5: Trust the Season

Remember that this season is temporary. Those chaotic seasons have an end date. That you don’t need to be perfect through it. You just need to survive it with your humanity intact.

Moving Forward With Grace

The goal during chaotic seasons is not to become better. It’s not to optimize. It’s not to use this difficult time as an opportunity to grow. (Though growth will happen anyway—that’s just how life works.)

The goal is to keep showing up for yourself in small, sustainable ways. To keep your nervous system as regulated as possible. To stay connected to the people and practices that remind you that you’re not alone. To trust that the chaos is temporary, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

You don’t need a perfect routine. You need a routine that survives chaos.

You don’t need to be your best self right now. You need to be present enough to get through today.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need one small thing that says, “I am taking care of myself.”

That is enough. You are enough.

Until next time — stay warm, stay growing, stay loving, stay whole.

With love and light,

Amaka.