Hello, my dear friend,
How are you today? The weather has done us magic in this UK o. Rain left, right, centre, roundabout. Everything is getting watered diligently, including me.
I am still moving on my learning bubble and seeing many opportunities to humble myself and learn about life, people, circumstances, and experiences.
I believe the greatest disservice you can do to yourself and to posterity is to be unteachable. To hold onto ignorance so tightly that knowledge can’t pass through to transform you.
I have seen firsthand how much a mind that learns can evolve and fulfil potential in a world of limitless opportunity.
In many ways, our limitless opportunities to succeed and achieve mean we are quite privileged and can sometimes find ourselves out of touch with our core humanity. We become victims of a system of automation, machines, and cold steel services that replace human interactions.
Memories of classrooms where you had to wake up early, make a friend, or bribe your way to getting a seat were the norm, and you were forced to do these things so that you could listen to a lecture and make your own notes, which others would then copy or steal. The raw humanness of it all.
We are losing it. We are losing our vital signs. We are becoming spiritually dull to percussion. Desensitized to explicit images, nudity, and violence. Every day, language has become so harmful that it is meaningless. The boundaries between good and evil are not obvious anymore.
As we gather to celebrate flawless achievements, execution, and edifices, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that perfection is the ultimate goal.
Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or personal development, we’re often led to believe that if something isn’t perfect, it’s not worth doing at all.
But here’s the truth: growth is far more valuable than perfection. We risk becoming unfeeling boxes of flesh if we disregard the humanness of imperfection, making mistakes and learning, failing and failing and taking the lessons as the podium for success.
I was speaking with my sister a few days ago about the definition of success these days. We often don’t know for ourselves what our own personal success will look like because we are bombarded with all sorts of versions of success, and it can quickly become overwhelming. It’s hard to score a goal when the goalpost is always moving.
- That’s the constant fatigue that doesn’t go away
- The continuous irritation with your spouse, no matter what they do
- They are constantly complaining about your job
- The lack of consistency in your health and diet
- The loss of patience with your children
- The constant renovation of your house that doesn’t end
The beast is being fed, the beast of a generation that eats perfection for breakfast.
The Pressure of Perfection
Perfectionism can be paralyzing. We set such high expectations for ourselves that we become afraid to try, let alone fail. We obsess over every detail, spend countless hours tweaking, and still never feel satisfied.
This pursuit of perfection can stop us from making progress and rob us of the satisfaction that comes from simply trying and improving.
The problem with perfection is that it’s unattainable. No matter how hard we strive for it, we’ll never reach a point where everything is perfectly aligned.
Life is messy. Growth, on the other hand, is all about moving forward, learning from our experiences, and finding joy in the journey.
The Power of Embracing Growth
As part of my training, I often have to engage in quality improvement projects. I remember initially just thinking, “yes, let’s improve,” until I encountered the team whose daily job it is to track these improvements. They started talking about wicked problems, deliverables, change ideas, and PDSA cycles…
I rolled my eyes so deeply. I see it now, though. If you can’t put a system around your growth, you may just be a one-hit wonder.
Growth is the key to becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about making progress, no matter how small.
When we embrace growth over perfection, we shift our focus to continuous improvement. We start valuing our efforts, even when things don’t go as planned. Every mistake becomes a lesson, and every success, big or small, becomes a stepping stone toward our next achievement.
The beauty of growth is that it’s a process. It allows us to experiment, take risks, and try new things without the pressure of perfection hanging over us. It encourages us to be compassionate with ourselves, understanding that setbacks are a natural part of the journey.
The Perfection Trap- Jump and Pass
So, how do we move from perfectionism to a mindset of growth? If, like me, you grew up being applauded for being perfect, it is a hard addiction to break, so we work hard at changing our mindset first. Once you change how you frame it, you become more compassionate to yourself and acknowledge that your every effort is worth something.
This doesn’t invalidate your big idea or your big dream because you eventually get there. This only allows you to enjoy the process and take your small wins seriously.
- Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Celebrate the small wins. Every step you take forward, no matter how tiny, is a step toward becoming better. Perfection doesn’t come from an overnight transformation—it’s the result of consistent effort over time. Gather the lessons, do better.
- Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Mistakes are not failures; they are opportunities to learn. Each time something doesn’t go as planned, take a moment to reflect on what you can learn from the experience. This shift in thinking helps build resilience and encourages you to keep going.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Perfectionism often stems from setting unattainably high standards. It’s important to recognize that it’s okay to have flaws and imperfections. Setting realistic goals helps you manage expectations and reduces the pressure that can hold you back. My SwitchOn coach Adaora would say, “Done is better than perfect”. Put out the work and keep modifying it, let the work live outside of your head and grow into space.
- Celebrate Effort Over Outcome: The effort you put into something is just as important as the result. When you focus on the process rather than the outcome, you’ll find more satisfaction in your work, and you’ll be more likely to push yourself further. You applied for the job and got a rejection? Well done, now you know something that doesn’t work, try another thing.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. No one is perfect, and that includes you. Treat yourself with the same understanding and empathy that you would offer a friend. Perfectionism often comes from a place of self-criticism, so practice self-compassion and embrace your imperfections. In many ways its root is in pride, don’t get caught being too proud to bet on yourself and learn.
Embracing Growth
When we choose growth over perfection, we unlock a world of possibilities. We become more adaptable, more open to learning, and more resilient in the face of challenges. This mindset frees us from the fear of failure and allows us to approach life with humility, curiosity, and excitement.
In Conclusion
It’s time to let go of the perfectionist mindset and embrace the beauty of growth. Life is too short to be bogged down by unrealistic expectations and constant self-criticism. Instead, focus on your progress, celebrate your mistakes, and keep moving forward. By embracing growth over perfection, you’ll find that the journey itself becomes the most rewarding part of all.
Name the voice of doubt and fear in your head masquerading as perfectionism, give it a name, write a note saying they are no longer in charge, kindness,wisdom, and strength have moved in.
Remember, you are not defined by your perfection, but by your willingness to grow.
Until next time, stay authentic.
Stay resilient, and continue to honour your needs.
Live wholeheartedly,
Amaka
