Hello dear friend,
I bring you a chilly greeting as we are in autumn and the way the weather has changed 😭!
The long holidays are over for the kids. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the parents sending kids to school in oversized uniforms. Give it a few weeks, and you will be buying a new set.
So why don’t we discuss how we can raise healthy and resilient children?
You never know who your kids will meet in school; regardless of the class or levels they are, what you can do,is to prepare them to believe in who they are and give them a secure base for life.
I remember being dropped off in a military boarding house at age ten and just wondering if my parents truly loved me. How do you do this to someone you love. hahahahaha 😂.
What a wild ride I was in for, no idea at all. After a few weeks, I made friends and met some old friends from primary school and things felt better.
It took a while to understand that we weren’t just there to socialize but to also study . We got there in the end. All this is to say, our children will get distracted and maybe even confused but if the foundation is right they always find the right path again.
Bullying in Children
In recent years, we have heard horror stories of how high school can go totally wrong, it makes you wonder, what’s going on. I have the benefit of having spoken with a few bullies and some who have been bullied too.
Bullying is a pervasive issue that affects many children at some point in their lives, whether as victims, bystanders, or even as the bullies themselves. It’s harmful to watch violence, even if it’s not directly affecting you.
The experience of seeing something violent cannot be differentiated from experiencing it physically by your brain; they have the same impact, albeit temporarily, for a bystander/witness.
It can be difficult to discuss, but parents must create an environment where children feel safe sharing their experiences and emotions.
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How can we create this environment? It is with intention. Many people think they are doing it right but it is not true, we get busy, we treat our children like an inconvenience and it shows in our tone, our body language too.
I urge you to objectively check the amount of time you spend with your kids, just relaxing and talking. Not giving instructions or driving them somewhere. Talking, like to another human.
In this week’s post, we’ll explore effective strategies for talking to kids about bullying, fostering open dialogue, and empowering them to stand up against bullying while building emotional strength and resilience.
Understanding the Impact of Bullying
Before diving into strategies for communication, it’s important to understand the profound impact bullying can have on a child’s mental and emotional health. Bullying can lead to feelings of isolation, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
It’s not just a phase or a rite of passage; it’s a serious issue that requires attention and intervention. You may think it will be outgrown if you ignore it, but the evidence states otherwise.
Once a child’s self esteem is broken it goes on to affect their choices of school, partner, jobs, future career potential and socio-economy class. The cost is too high for something we can address early on in an active manner.
Creating a safe space for open communication with your child is crucial for several reasons:
– Trust and Safety: Children need to know that they can come to you with any problem without fear of judgment or punishment.
–Emotional Expression: Open dialogue allows children to express their feelings, which is essential for emotional development and mental health.
– Early Intervention: The sooner you know about bullying, the quicker you can intervene and provide the necessary support and resources.
Tips for Talking to Kids About Bullying
1. Start Early and Be Proactive
– Begin conversations about bullying early, even before it becomes an issue. Use age-appropriate language to explain what bullying is and why it’s harmful. Encourage empathy by discussing how bullying makes people feel and why kindness is important. Ask your young children, what is a good friend? What do they do? What don’t they do? Give examples. Read books with them to give more context on these issues they may encounter in thier own life.
2. Create a Judgment-Free Zone
– Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything, including being bullied or bullying others. Make it clear that you’re there to listen, not to judge or punish. When children feel safe and understood, they are more likely to open up about their experiences. That safety doesn’t auto-appear in a crisis; it is built on regular days over dinner, in the car, in the bathroom, in the park, at parties, etc.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
– Encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions. Instead of asking, “Did anyone bully you today?” try asking, “What was something challenging that happened at school today?” This approach can lead to more meaningful discussions and gives your child the opportunity to share their feelings and experiences. One of my favourite go-to is a best and worst of the school day.
4. Use Role-Playing to Build Empathy and Skills
– Role-playing different scenarios can help your child understand various perspectives and develop empathy. It also provides a safe space to practice how to respond to bullying, whether as a victim or a bystander. Role-playing can empower children to handle real-life situations with confidence.
5. Discuss Different Types of Bullying
– Bullying isn’t always physical; it can also be verbal, emotional, or cyberbullying. Talk to your child about the different forms bullying can take and how to recognize them. Understanding that bullying can happen in many ways helps children identify it and seek help if needed.
6. Encourage Problem-Solving and Self-Advocacy
– Help your child develop problem-solving skills by discussing potential responses to bullying. Encourage them to think about safe ways to stand up for themselves or others, such as using assertive language or seeking help from a trusted adult, teach them who a trusted adult is.
7. Promote Resilience Through Positive Self-Talk
– Teach your child the power of positive self-talk and affirmations. Remind them of their strengths and encourage them to use positive language to boost their confidence and resilience. Resilient children are better equipped to handle bullying and recover from its effects.
8. Stay Informed and Get Involved
– Be proactive in staying informed about your child’s social environment. Attend school meetings, communicate with teachers, and stay updated on school policies regarding bullying. Getting involved shows your child that you are committed to their well-being and that you take bullying seriously.
Building Resilience in Children
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. While it’s crucial to protect children from harm, it’s also important to equip them with the tools to handle challenges when they arise. Here’s how you can help your child build resilience:
1. Model Resilient Behavior
– Children learn by example. Show them how you handle stress and setbacks in your own life. Use these moments as teaching opportunities to demonstrate positive coping strategies.
2. Encourage Healthy Friendships
– Help your child build a network of supportive friends who reinforce positive behaviours and offer emotional support. A strong peer group can act as a buffer against the negative effects of bullying.
3. Teach Emotional Regulation
– Help your child understand and manage their emotions. Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and journaling can be effective tools for emotional regulation. When children know how to calm themselves, they are better equipped to face difficult situations.
4. Reinforce Their Strengths
– Celebrate your child’s strengths and achievements, both big and small. Reinforcing their positive qualities helps build self-esteem and resilience, making them less vulnerable to the effects of bullying.
5. Provide Opportunities for Independence
– Allow your child to make decisions and solve problems on their own. This fosters a sense of independence and confidence in their abilities, which is essential for resilience.
6. Build a strong sense of identity in them.
-This starts from their family roles and if you are a religious family , establishing what role faith plays in thier own lives early on. Give them responsibilities, hold them accountable, ensure they are able to express themselves freely and respectfully within the home. Do not in any circumstances make a mockery of your child or let anyone else do this, let them know their feelings matter.
In conclusion, talking to kids about bullying and resilience is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and open communication. By fostering a safe environment for dialogue and equipping children with the tools they need to navigate challenges, we empower them to stand up against bullying and develop into confident, resilient individuals.
Remember, your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping your child understand and cope with life, you are their greatest role model so take time to work on yourself too. By taking these steps, you’re not only helping your child feel safe and supported but also teaching them valuable life skills that will serve them well into adulthood.
Have any parenting ideas to share, kindly send them through the comment section.
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Happy back-to-school weekend; go on, do some laundry joyfully.
Until next time, stay authentic,
Stay resilient, and continue to honour your needs.
Live wholeheartedly,
Amaka
2 Cor 3:2(MSG)
You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God’s living Spirit; not chiseled into stone, but carved into human lives—and we publish it.
