Hi dear friend,
i hope you had a good week, it is an interesting week for reflecting on climate change. Rainy days in July and stormy mornings ahead. Hope you at least have some sunshine where you are?
Last week, we spoke about Parental Stress and How to Manage It.
This week, we will still look at parenting, but this time with more view on seeking support and building a community.
Parenting is the one thing that showed me how much I needed other people. I had been pretty much independent and getting on with life until I had my first child, it was so confusing and there were so many surprises, that by the time I realized what had happened, I was too far gone to prepare, I just went into damage control.
I was in the deep end of the sea with no swimming experience, but my survival instincts kept me afloat. It was difficult to vocalize my difficulties because I had never heard anyone talk about them, so I felt isolated and self-critical.
I was also doing this in a new country with different cultures around birthing and parenting, so that my attempts to even reach out to local mums were met with superficial smiles and no concern or advice for me.
I remember attending baby singing groups where no one will even look at me much less ask about me and my baby. I would walk back home grateful for somewhere to even go to, outside the small flat we were renting.
Parenthood is a remarkable journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless learning experiences. While the love and fulfilment that come from raising children are unparalleled, the demands of parenting can sometimes feel overwhelming.
Seeking support and building a solid community around you can make a significant difference in navigating this journey. I’m excited to share insights on finding support and fostering a sense of community to thrive as a parent.
No one is meant to parent alone. The old adage, “It takes a village to raise a child,” holds true today. Support from others can provide emotional relief, practical assistance, and valuable advice, making the parenting journey smoother and more enjoyable. Here’s why seeking support is crucial:
– Emotional Well-being: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can help alleviate stress and anxiety, providing a sense of relief and validation.
– Practical Help: Having a support system means you can rely on others for help with childcare, preparing for a new baby, running errands, school runs, grocery shop, or even just a listening ear.
– Shared Knowledge: Connecting with other parents allows you to share experiences, tips, and resources, which can be incredibly helpful in navigating the challenges of parenthood. Where to find a good paediatrician, family planning clinics, schools and nurseries in the area, affordable clothes and food.
Building your Village
This may take a while but it is worth the investment. Look at the people around you.
1. Family and Friends
– Reach out to your family and friends for support. If you have a partner, be clear on what support you need from them. Whether it’s grandparents eager to babysit, friends willing to lend an ear, or neighbors ready to help, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance. Remember, people often want to help but may not know how unless you let them know your needs. Identify your needs and check within your network who fits in where, you can even have an ongoing arrangement where you help them with something else another day of the week. That way you create a mutually supportive ecosystem.
2. Parenting Groups
– Joining a parenting group, either in-person or online, can be a great way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. These groups provide a platform to share concerns, ask questions, and receive support from fellow parents.you will find a few ideas you don’t agree with but I think it’s ok to disagree sometimes. The importent things, you will still learn. Keep an open mind about learning how to parent positively, your experience will not always be pleasant but it can be positive, if you can repair mistakes and turn them around for good.
3. Professional Support
– Don’t overlook the value of professional support. Therapists, counsellors, nurses, health visitors, GPs, and parenting coaches can offer expert advice and coping strategies to manage stress, improve communication, and enhance your parenting skills. I learnt how to create a supportive professional network around me after my first child. For my second, I engaged an experienced doula. Also, I found a therapist and a chiropractor to help me work on my body and mind post-delivery. They provided me with safe places to heal slowly and correctly. There is nothing wrong with paying for help if you can afford it. Sometimes, our expectations on ourselves and our relatives set us up for disappointment.
4. Community Resources
– Explore community resources such as local libraries, community centres, and religious organizations that often offer parenting classes, support groups, and family-friendly activities. Google everything and anything you need. Find reliable babysitters and childminders near you, as well as summer schools and homeschoolers who can support your family goals. Dig, dig, dig; ignorance is no longer an excuse.
Approachable Parenting Website
You can Support My Work
Building a Sense of Community
Creating a supportive community around you involves both seeking out existing resources and fostering new connections. Here are some tips to build a strong, supportive community:
1. Get Involved
– Participate in community events, school activities, and local organizations. Volunteering your time can help you meet other parents and build connections. Don’t be so busy that you don’t show up to anything; make the time and put in that work. Go to events where you know people or you know no one and explore.
2. Create a Parenting Circle
– Start a parenting circle with friends, neighbours, or colleagues. Regular meetups, playdates, or shared activities can strengthen bonds and provide mutual support. Offer to babysit for other parents, organize playdates, invite parents over for dinner or drinks, and let them see your values. Hopefully, you can align and build good friendships from there. If you don’t align with values, quickly move on and find those who do.
3. Be Open and Approachable
– Make an effort to be open and approachable. Small gestures like greeting other parents at school pickups, initiating conversations at the park, or attending parent-teacher meetings can lead to meaningful connections. Show concern when your children’s friends don’t come to school due to illness; reach out to their parents. Say hello to the neighbours and offer small acts of kindness.
4. Use Technology
– Leverage Technology to stay connected. Join online forums, social media groups, and virtual meetups to interact with other parents, especially if in-person interactions are limited. I got invited to a picnic event with an organization I love last weekend; things like that warm my heart. Seeing mums and kids just relaxing and having fun, people who are meeting for the first time after months of chatting online.
There are a few online meetings for parents happening this weekend.
POI event and Parenting Summit
The Benefits of a Strong Community
Having a robust support network and community can significantly enhance your parenting experience. Some of the benefits are:
– Reduced Stress: Knowing you have people to rely on can reduce the burden of parenting and alleviate stress.
– Enhanced Confidence: Sharing experiences and learning from others can boost your confidence in your parenting abilities.
– Better Coping Mechanisms: Support from others provides emotional strength and practical solutions, helping you cope better with challenges.
– Improved Well-being and Normalized Experiences: A sense of belonging and community can enhance your overall well-being and create a more positive family environment.
Parenting is a complex and rewarding journey that becomes more manageable with the right support and a strong sense of community. You can create a nurturing environment for yourself and your family.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Embrace the support available to you, build your community, and enjoy the beautiful adventure of parenthood with confidence and joy.
I’d love to hear from you! How have you found support and built your community as a parent? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below. Let’s support each other in this incredible journey of raising the next generation.
Until next time, stay authentic,
Stay resilient, and continue to honour your needs.
Live wholeheartedly,
Amaka
2 Cor 3:2(MSG)
You yourselves are all the endorsement we need. Your very lives are a letter that anyone can read by just looking at you. Christ himself wrote it—not with ink, but with God’s living Spirit; not chiselled into stone, but carved into human lives—and we publish it.
