Good morning, dear friend
How are you today?
We are deep into our holiday series and reframing what most of us have called a recurrent stressor, so we can focus on the things that matter.
Born during the festive period, I enjoyed lots of buzz and parties, hosting people at home in our family home. The constant stream of guests meant the family never got time to be alone and enjoy the season meaningfully.
As I got older, I decided to deprioritise the buzz and engage meaningfully with Christmas.
I have learnt that this season, though joyful, also comes with spiritual responsibility.
To consider how the birth of Jesus Christ in our lives shows itself. What fruits Jesus is producing in us, what transformation his entry into the world has produced around us.
Pause, think about this carefully.
What has Christmas (The Birth of our Lord Jesus Christ) produced in me? In my family? In my world?
Joy doesn’t always equate busy and stress if you are tired of who you are, the pull towards stress is often led by the measurement of success that the world will recognise.
It is why we want to have most things we aspire to, and it is a normal human longing, to be recognised as successful comes with its rewards, which are not few. However, it also costs something.
Sometimes the Christmas within our lives might be that we learn to recognise our own role in birthing Jesus in our lives, irrespective of what society thinks or says. God sees your heart, and shouldn’t that be the only person we aim to please? Really?
So think carefully before you commit this season to anything. Ask yourself, “How does this moment connect with the birth of goodness in this world?”.
We often feel pressured to say “yes” to almost everything—work demands, family responsibilities, social gatherings, church activities, small favours, and unplanned requests—until our days become so full that there’s no space to breathe, let alone enjoy the moments in front of us. But the truth is simple: joy does not come from a crowded schedule; it comes from a centred heart.
A video I was watching yesterday online was talking about the feeling of being done with a thing and being so ok with it that you can leave it easily. The example cited was that of people who once wanted to leave a nice party.
They just leave the party without ceremony, without looking for company to go with, without apologising and making excuses for why. Acknowledging that something is enough and you have enjoyed it enough to let go of it is such a demonstration of inner peace and contentment.
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What is enough celebration for you this Christmas, what will satisfy you?
Joyful moments are not found in overextending ourselves—they bloom in ordinary pauses, simple routines, and intentional choices.
1. Redefine What Joy Looks Like
Inner joy and contentment may arrive packaged as grand celebrations, expensive vacations, or perfectly curated events. Sometimes it whispers through the smallest things:
● a quiet morning with tea
● a clean corner of the room
● a short, meaningful conversation
● a slow walk after a long day
● A dependable partner with whom to live
● Children who have built a new good habit
When you stop equating joy with big moments, you free yourself from unnecessary commitments.
2. Stop Saying Yes Out of Pressure
Many people overcommit because they want to please others or fear disappointing someone. Do you know when this happens? When are you being pressured? Constantly stretching yourself thin only leaves you drained—emotionally and mentally.
Before saying yes, pause and ask:
● Do I have the time?
● Do I have the energy?
● Is this something I truly want to do?
● Healthy boundaries are not selfish; they protect your joy.
3. Choose Presence Over Performance
You don’t need to be everywhere to feel connected. What matters is being fully present wherever you are. Quality beats quantity—whether in relationships, work, or personal time. Yesterday I was invited to a party, and I had a full day of work as well.
As much as I wanted to show my joy at the celebration, I knew if I tried to show up there, I wouldn’t be in the right frame of mind to share fully in the joy, so I declined respectfully.
Sometimes, the most joyful moments come from slowing down enough to actually experience them.
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4. Create Small Rituals That Make You Happy
Joy is built through habits, not haste. Create simple rituals that lift your spirit without requiring massive effort. For example:
● Light a candle while journaling
● Celebrate tiny wins at the end of each week. In our family, we started doing this, and it helps us stay connected.
● Take 10 minutes to stretch or breathe
● Enjoy music while doing chores
These small routines create soft pockets of happiness without overwhelming your day; they also help you stay in the moment, not scattering your energies in various tasks or thoughts. Learning to focus is a great skill that we need to practise.
5. Protect Your Energy Intentionally
Your energy is a limited resource. You cannot pour into everything and expect to remain joyful. Learn to prioritise. Honour your emotional capacity. Pause when you need to.
The more you guard your peace, the more room you create for joy to flourish naturally.
Doing work on self-awareness is not negotiable; we often take it for granted that we know ourselves. Can you really see yourself?
Why are you so afraid to submit yourself to self-awareness work in therapy? What you find may be scary, embarrassing, or annoying, but it’s the best work you will ever do.
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- Let Go of the Guilt
Choosing rest over responsibility can feel uncomfortable at first. But guilt should not guide your decisions.
● You are allowed to slow down.
● You are allowed to take a step back.
● You are allowed to enjoy a quiet life without feeling like you’re missing out. - Allow Joy to Be Simple
Joy doesn’t demand perfection. It doesn’t need a plan. It doesn’t need applause.
It simply needs space.
When you stop filling your schedule to the edges, you begin noticing the gentle moments that were there all along waiting for you.
Final Thoughts
Creating joyful moments without burning out starts with a good helping of self-awareness, awareness of your family rhythms, what matters to its members, and how to best bring joy out of these existing pillars. It’s not big gestures that end up breaking your spirit when you don’t get grand appreciation back.
It is about learning to live from a place of intention rather than obligation. It’s about choosing what truly matters, honouring your limits, and embracing the beauty of simplicity.
When you slow down and give yourself permission not to do everything, you find that joy becomes easier—not harder—to experience.
Until next time
Stay warm, stay growing, stay loving, stay whole.
Amaka
