Good day, dear friend,
I hope you are well today. We are still praying every day at 9 pm. If you didn’t see that last week, it means you aren’t signed up for the newsletter. Sign up, so you don’t miss out on the extra juice.
There are also a couple of great teaching series going on in my Tribe (Heaven’s Gate Academy x Haverim Ministries). I invite you to join in. In the days we live in, we need enlightenment and strength. The journey ahead is far.
Why do it alone?
Recently, there have been many reasons to worry and allow my meditation to be on the negative, but for God’s mercy, I now enjoy a trusting relationship with him.
I have leaned on my faith for daily strength and wisdom; my self-care practices have also come in very handy, because when we don’t care for our bodies, our minds are quick to follow. They support one another.
Some days feel heavier than others, even when nothing dramatic has happened. You wake up, start moving through the day, answering messages, finishing tasks, remembering things you must not forget.
Somewhere between work, responsibilities, conversations, and the quiet expectations you place on yourself, your mind begins to feel crowded. Not necessarily overwhelmed in an obvious way.
Just… full.
Full of reminders.
Full of unfinished thoughts.
Full of small worries sitting quietly in the background. A little at a time, they eat at your joy, your peace, your strength and your vitality.
In due time, it becomes your identity to be poor and irritable, sucking the joy out of every space you enter.
You may even relax from time to time, but your mind keeps gently tapping you on the shoulder:
Did you send that message?
Don’t forget that task tomorrow.
You still need to handle that thing.
It is a strange kind of tiredness. Not the kind that sleep alone fixes, and the interesting thing is that many people carry this feeling for so long that it begins to feel normal.
We learn to keep going.
To keep adding things to the list.
To keep holding everything in our heads.
Sometimes what the mind truly needs is not a big escape or a dramatic life reset, but a simple adjustment; it needs small spaces to breathe again.
These quiet practices rarely get attention, yet they can make everyday life feel noticeably lighter.
This is where the idea of hidden self-care begins to make sense — the small habits that gently support your mind, reduce invisible pressure, and help you move through your days with a little calmer pace.
I remember living in London while doing my exams and not quite enjoying the haste and pressure of just existing there. How people just walk fast, and we’re always in a hurry, not making eye contact.
It felt so anti-me that I was quite grateful to see the back of it in the next few months. One day, I was walking fast like everyone else, and I stopped suddenly and asked myself,
“Are you late?”
“Are you in a hurry?”
I answered “No” on both accounts.
So I slowed down, I paused and looked around me, I intentionally noticed colours, people and objects. Until this day, I walk slowly when I am not legitimately in a hurry because my body, soul, and spirit deserve it.
I am the full embodiment of heaven’s investment on earth. I won’t be dominated by my environment.
These are the kind of changes we will be looking at today. The doable, the conscious, the powerful.
The Mental Load We Carry Every Day
Most of us are not just tired physically. We are tired mentally, with brains that don’t go to sleep, no quiet moment, no reverence for the body and its work, its need for rest after service.
Our minds are constantly keeping track of things:
- remembering tasks that need to be done
- replaying conversations from earlier in the day
- worrying about future responsibilities
- thinking about people you need to call, bills you need to pay, deadlines you cannot miss
Even when we are sitting still, our minds are working.
Imagine a typical evening. You are trying to relax, but your mind is quietly reminding you:
- “You haven’t replied to that email.”
- “You still need to buy groceries.”
- “You forgot to follow up on that message.”
- “Tomorrow is going to be busy.”
Nothing dramatic is happening, but your mind never truly rests.
Writing Things Down Instead of Carrying Them in Your Head
One of the simplest forms of self-care is removing tasks from your mind and placing them somewhere external. When everything stays in your head, your brain keeps reminding you about it because it is afraid you might forget.
That constant reminder creates stress.
Something as small as keeping a notebook or a simple task list can lighten that burden. Instead of thinking all evening about things you need to do tomorrow, write them down before bed.
Your list might look like this:
- Send proposal email
- Call the mechanic
- Buy vegetables
- Finish report draft
Once it is written down, your mind relaxes because it no longer needs to guard that information.
It sounds simple, but many people experience better sleep just by doing this one habit. Your mind deserves a place to rest.
Clearing Small Tasks Immediately
Tiny unfinished tasks pile up quickly, and they are a sure sign that your brain is being overwhelmed. A message left unanswered, a document left open, dishes left in the sink. Individually, they seem small, but together they create background stress.
For instance:
- Replying to a two-minute email immediately instead of postponing it all day
- Washing your plate right after eating instead of letting dishes pile up
- Filing a document right away instead of leaving it on your desk
Each completed task quietly removes one small weight from your mind. Think of it as reducing the number of open tabs in your brain, because that is exactly what it is.
Protecting Your Attention
We had a post on the blog a few years ago on the attention economy.
Whatever takes your eyes, takes your life. This is because your eyes are the gateway to your soul. The things you donate your attention to matter.
Your attention is one of your most valuable resources, yet modern life constantly competes for it. Notifications, news updates, social media alerts, and messages interrupt your focus throughout the day.
Each interruption forces your brain to switch tasks, and this switching creates fatigue.
A simple habit could be:
- turning off non-essential notifications
- checking social media only at certain times
- placing your phone away while working or resting
Imagine sitting down to finish an important task. Within ten minutes, your phone vibrates three times. Even if you ignore the messages, your brain has already shifted attention.
By protecting your focus, you are protecting your mental energy, and by extension, your mind. If it’s an emergency, a true emergency, people know what to do; they won’t call you first.
Creating Small Moments of Silence
Not all self-care needs to be structured meditation or a long relaxation routine. Sometimes the mind just needs brief moments of silence during the day.
This might look like:
- sitting quietly with your tea for five minutes before starting work
- stepping outside to breathe fresh air after a stressful conversation
- pausing for a moment between tasks instead of rushing immediately into the next one. My supervisor told me to always add a 10min buffer between meetings online.
- Eating lunch without your phone or TV
- Going for walks outside during work breaks
These pauses act like small resets for your nervous system. That small pause helps your body release tension, making for a smooth transition.
Saying “No” Without Long Explanations
A powerful but quiet form of self-care is learning to protect your time. Many people feel pressure to accept every request, attend every event, or respond to every demand placed on them.
But every “yes” to something automatically becomes a “no” to something else—your rest, your focus, or your peace of mind. Consider the opportunity cost. The things you also sacrifice by your yes to this thing.
Hidden self-care sometimes looks like saying:
- “I won’t be able to take that on right now.”
- “Let me get back to you later.”
- “I have other commitments today.”
- “No”
When someone asks you to take on an extra responsibility when you are already overwhelmed, saying yes may seem polite in the moment, but it adds stress that follows you and ends up being you when you become resentful, in which case your lack of boundaries leads you to sin.
Protecting your capacity is not selfish. It is responsible self-management.
Setting Boundaries with Loved Ones
Reducing Emotional Clutter
Mental load is not only about tasks. It also comes from emotional tension.
Arguments, unresolved misunderstandings, and constant exposure to negative conversations can quietly drain your energy; sometimes it means choosing peace over participation.
Let go of the fear of missing out. Sometimes you are better off missing out and being ignorant of certain things.
For example:
- not engaging in online arguments
- stepping away from gossip conversations
- refusing to carry other people’s anger
You can care about people without absorbing their emotional storms. Protecting your emotional boundaries keeps your inner space calmer.
Gentle Routines That Support Your Body
I will never be tired of reminding you about caring for your body in simple ways that support your mind. Your brain and body are deeply connected. When the body is neglected, the mind struggles too.
Small daily habits can make a surprising difference:
- drinking enough water, until your pee is clear
- Lift weights, often, go heavy
- Move your body
- Don’t let anyone ever hit you physically, even as a joke
- stepping outside for sunlight
- eating meals that fuel your body
Many people feel mentally exhausted in the afternoon simply because they have been sitting for hours without movement. Standing up, walking briefly, or stretching can refresh your concentration more than another cup of coffee.
Your body quietly supports everything your mind tries to do.
Speak Life
I am reading this book, “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind”, and it is so true. We learn very early to motivate ourselves by first dragging our minds through the mud.
Dear friend, you are the strongest prophet in your life, speak life.
Many people carry a constant stream of self-criticism:
- “I should have done better.”
- “Why did I make that mistake?”
- “I’m falling behind.”
This inner pressure can slowly wear down confidence and increase stress. Learn to respond to yourself with the same kindness you offer others.
Instead of thinking, “I didn’t get enough done today.”
Try reframing it as, “Today was demanding, but I handled what I could.”
This shift may seem small, but over time, it changes how your brain experiences effort and failure. Self-compassion reduces emotional exhaustion. We have introduced self-compassion in last week’s post HERE.
Try these and watch how the core of who you are evolves to something beautiful over time. It takes time, but it is possible to create a life you love to exist in.
Hidden self-care rarely looks dramatic. It does not produce impressive photos or big announcements. But these small habits accumulate; they stack up. Just like brushing your teeth, going to the gym, or loving your partner.
Self-care is not in grand gestures, it is in what you do in your bedroom, kitchen, office and car.
Each time you write down a task instead of carrying it mentally.
Each time you step away from unnecessary stress.
Each time you choose rest over exhaustion.
You are slowly building a healthier relationship with your mind.
Life may still be busy. Responsibilities may not disappear. But the weight becomes easier to carry.
Because sometimes healing does not come from big changes. Sometimes it comes from quiet decisions repeated every day. And those quiet habits can slowly make life feel lighter than you ever expected.
Until next time — stay warm, stay growing, stay loving, stay whole.
With love and light,
Amaka.
